Billy Blanks...

And I now have a LOVE, HATE relationship!

So today I wanted to work out to my Billy Blanks Tae Bo DVD. I have had this DVD in my collection for who knows how long but I never attempted to work out to it. Well today while shopping for fruit I decided I wanted to go home and try the video. And TRY I did!! I almost died after the first 10 minutes but I am so proud to say I stuck it out until the very end! I had rough time, even cried once or twice but I still had so much fun! I'm already sore but I cant wait to do it again!

Thanks BILLY!!!

PS: I hope to look like those ladies on the video, only not so many muscles!

Therapy, Weight Watchers and MORE!!!

This week has been pretty good so far and seems to be very busy! As I said before, I decided to seek help from a therapist regarding all the issues I've been having since Eric left. I had to wait about a week and a half before I could get seen. Time kind of moved along really really slow and finally Sunday night came thats when I get really nervous.

My appointment was on Monday at 10am and I made sure to leave in plenty of time. Its a good thing I did because for some reason I had two different addresses written down and went to the wrong one first! Silly me :) But I made it on time. I walked into the office and you can imagine how shocked I was so find that there was no front desk or a receptionist. I immediately started thinking "What kind of doctors office doesnt have a receptionist?" You will imagine the huge shock I got when I looked at the wall and saw 4 light switches and there was a big sign that read, "Please flip the switch next to your doctors name to announce your arrival." I think I almost feel over at that point. In my opinion kind of tacky but maybe its the norm with Therapists offices, who knows! I started to feel a little uneasy after that. About 10 minutes later my therapist came out. She was very friendly and eager to get started! (This was starting to make up for the light switch incident!) After she asked me the usual questions we finally got started.

I cant tell you a whole lot of what was said but it just felt so good to talk. And I'm pretty sure I talked and talked and talked! I could have stayed there for hours on end. It was so nice to hear everything I have been thinking and feeling is normal. We talked about everything from deployment, my family, his family, friends whatever you name it! The one thing she did say is that I need to find better use of my time. Which is really true. "My name is Kaylee and I'm and unemployed Army wife with a deployed husband!" I spend most of my days doing whatever and I have no schedule at all. So she thinks I need to get in some sort of routine which I probably do! So that's my goal this week, even if I do the same things as always (Spend endless hours on MSN messenger, reading books, writing letters, whatever you can do in the house I do! lol) is to put it in some sort of order! I go back next Monday and I'm hoping it goes just as well.

On another SUPER EXCITING note! I have joined WEIGHT WATCHERS!!! Yes that's right my friends, I have committed to hopping aboard the weight loss train. This is something that I have struggled with all my life but I think there is no better time than now to get the ball rolling! So my mom and I went yesterday and got all signed up! I was totally depressed when I stood on that scaled because this is the heaviest I have been in my life but its a new journey from this point forward. I have many reasons for wanting to do it now. First, Eric and I want to lead healthier and much more active life-styles when he gets home. He has already lost 25-30 pounds since he has been gone which is amazing! That means I have some catching up to do! I also want to have a healthy body for when we decide to have babies. I want to be a cute pregnant woman not just a girl who looks over weight the entire time and no one knows they are prego. I have started meal planning and am so so excited for this to begin! I weigh in on Tuesdays so look forward to next week and pray I do well!! I also plan to journal my ups and downs with Weight Watchers. A huge shout out to my amazing husband for being so supportive of me and all of this even though your half way around the world! I love you!!

On another Eric note, I'm so excited to announce that he will be coming home on leave very very soon! I cant say when because I have to honor OSPEC, but I am beyond ready to see his chubby cheeks! My family and I have a lot planned for when he gets here but its going to be so nice having him home for 2 full weeks! I cant wait to be with him again and I'm sure you will figure out when hes here since I will be MIA!!

Not much else is really going on, I have been reading a lot of books! And at this point it has taken me forever to come back and finish this blog! So not much else to say, Enjoy and keep blogging!!

I swear...

I seriously thought about posting everything that needs to be posted but,

a NAP

READING

and MEAL PLANNING all sound way more exciting!

Miss you all, pray for me that I will post soon.

thanks!

Keep them in your thoughts...

Elizabeth Davis and Catlin Swift...

i MiSs YoU!!!

So before I was married and living the life of an Army Wife, I lived in Bremerton Washington with the 2 best room mates/friends a girl could ask for. Liz, I have known since high school and Cat I met from Liz when we first moved to B-town. As I'm going through some things right now, I notice myself looking back to the days when things were a lot more simple. We always had so much fun together and now we are all doing different things and living in different parts of the United States. Liz is now married and a mom to a beautiful baby girl living in Idaho and Cat is dating Daniel, playing volleyball for college and living in Olympia Washington. I've been wanting to do this post for a while but it hasn't been the right time until today. So heres to 2 of the girls I look up to more than words can express! Here's what I miss most about them and us! Love you girls and miss you so much!!

I miss Liz's breakfast of toast, eggs and bacon. I also miss living off cereal and chorizo with eggs and tortillas.

I miss taking the ferry and spending the day in Seattle eating Greek food, Indian food and just people watching.

I miss getting all dressed up to go out dinner for birthdays or just because we feel like it.

I miss going to Albertson's at like midnight dressed in boxers, sweat shirts and boots to make fun of the boys who work there.

I miss going to the Army Surplus store and messing around with all the discoveries and having people stare at us.

I miss dressing up for Spokane Shock games for mascot races and thinking we were really cool for bring on the promotion team.

I miss making homemade gifts. And spending 90% of our time is sweats and comfy clothes. (this is what happens when both of them are volleyball players!)

I miss dressing up for Halloween, going to a corn maze, trick-or-treating and a party or two!

I miss having Liz as my date for prom and drinking milk with ice.

I miss eating Gooey's at the resort until we were sick. Running into bad dates, walking around the boardwalk and making bets with boys on how many of these huge ice cream sundays they could actually finish!

I miss driving to Seattle just so we could go to Jamba Juice, PF changes and The Rack.

I miss considering myself Mormon by association so I can go to girls camp and canoe my heart out.

I miss going roller skating and bowling.

I miss when I had a bad day, they were always there which chocolate cake, coke, fruit snacks and any other junk food we needed to get through our bad day.

I miss making noise and taking silly pictures everywhere we went.

I miss sleeping in Liz's bed with Patch too.

I miss being with each other during some of the best and most important moments in our lives.

I miss driving around in Liz's truck, blasting music and getting pulled over by cops who ask stupid questions.

I miss eating Mexican food all the time. They were pretty much both half Mexican like me!

I miss having my room "HEART ATTACKED" for my birthday then returning the favor on their birthday.

I miss staying up and watching movies even though I was always the first to fall asleep.

I miss making dresses out of foil and doing rain dances in the kitchen at 2am to help certian things happen in life.

I miss talking all night and laughing until my stomach hurt.

I miss getting snow in B-town and going to play in it during the middle of the night.

I miss acting like big dorks and always having fun no matter who is watching.

I miss taking road trips to Idaho, going to rodeos and showing Cat the Idaho way of life.

I miss playing board games like "You might be a redneck if..." and using our best hillbilly voices.

The thing I miss the most is just being with each other all the time. We are all in different parts of our lives at this point but I'm so glad I had the chance to grow so much with these girls at my side!

I love you both :)

I've got nothing...

So lately I've pretty much been a hermit crab in this huge ocean we call life. I got some bad news from Eric last week and I haven't exactly been the same since. Before Eric left, I started having what I think were panic attacks. They are rare but have been happening more frequently. I was on the phone with him the other night and was extremely upset over something and I completely hyperventilated. I think it scared him as well as me. That's when I decided it was the final straw and I needed to get some help. I called Military One Source and I am so grateful to have such an awesome resource at my finger tips. The woman I dealt with was great and Im looking forward to what lies ahead. I was set up with a doctor whom I go to see next Monday, wish me luck I need it.

I've been doing a whole lot of keeping to myself over this past week and I cant say that I really have a desire to go out and be with my friends. I always feel like a burden for only ever talking about Eric, or what hes going through or what I'm going through. Its nothing against my friends at all and I'm glad they are here for me but something is still just missing. Maybe its that I sit back and feel guilty for being some place without Eric. I still feel lost without him and everything is much more dull and boring without him. My friends are starting to notice his lack of presence also. I sometimes feel like I need some pity and for someone to just tell me everything will be OK and not try to lecture me on how I should be talking to Eric, or what we should be saying to each other.

Its really tough and I think I'm honestly ready for this chapter of our lives to be over. We need to be together again and continue to build a strong relationship not only for ourselves but for our future children. Ill be glad when its over, in roughly 252 days.