Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Prayers please!!!

This is my friend Kaitlyn who I have known since the 7th grade. Shes fantastic but I really need your help with thoughts and prayer for her and her family. This is her now:

She was involved in an accident yesterday morning and is currently in the ICU. Please pray for her and her family as well as a quick recovery. I love you Kaitlyn, get better soon

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A year (almost) in review! PART 2!

December started out taking forever because I knew that Eric would be home on R&R and some point. I tried to count down the days until I would get to see him again but since the Army cant stick to anything that was really hard. It was December 12th sometime in the evening and my phone was ringing and I went to answer it but I couldn't hear anything. I figured it was Eric trying to call but as usual the phone wasn't connecting. He tried calling several more times but no such luck in being able to connect to each other. Two days later the phone rang again and this time he was there. He frantically told me that he was in Germany on his way to me but he couldn't talk long. His flight would be in on the 15th at 10pm.

Talk about a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!! I screamed inside my house that Eric was on his way and he would be here the next day! I called everyone I knew to tell them that he would be here in LESS than 24 hours. I was on a high and I couldn't believe that I was actually going to see him. The following day my good friends Amanda, Kaila and Kaitlyn came over to help keep my calm and get me looking hot to see my wonderful husband!

I wanted to be at the airport early because I was not going to miss him for anything! I had ordered a welcome home sign on the Internet to have to welcome him with. If you know Eric at all, he is very shy and does not like to create a scene in any way shape or form. We still had over an hour until he was supposed to arrive. So I found my spot in front of the escalator, held my sign and just waited.

My mom, younger sister Lexus and step dad Rich were all there to help me welcome him. I was so surprised by how many people came up to me just to say thank you or offer me a hug. It was such a neat thing to experience and I was so full of emotion the entire time. As time drew closer I started to get more and more anxious. I had to remind myself to breathe and I could barely think because my heart was beating so fast. People slowly started to trickle down the escalator and I was patiently awaiting my solider. People saw me with my sign and told me he was on his way and then I finally saw him:

It was just like the movies, when he finally got down we hugged each other and cried as everyone in the airport clapped and cheered. It is by far one of the best memories of my life and I will never forget it.

Eric really wanted pizza and an ice cold beer so we headed on over to BJs Brew house and all hung out together. It was as if we were never apart and it was so great to see that we clicked so well again. During the two weeks he was home we went all over the place. San Fransisco, a road trip to Disneyland for Christmas, hanging out with my family and friends. It was fantastic! We had such a great time but it passed in the blink of an eye and it was time for him to go back.

For some reason this good bye was easier than the original one. I took him to the airport and was able to stay with him at the gate until he boarded the plane. It took everything in my power not to cry the entire time, but I held it together only for him. We said see ya later and off he went. I silently cried the entire way back through the air port and with each step my heart getting heavier wondering if that would be the last time if I ever got to hold my husband.

I went home and spent the majority of the time in my bed. The past 2 weeks after he left were even heard than the first two when he left the very first time. I found myself being very angry and feeling as though he had abandon me on purpose. Needless to say we didn't always have the best talked. Once again January came and went but I was more depressed than anything. I had started seeing a psychologist and that helped a lot.

During the month of February I rarely heard from Eric. I went 37 days without hearing a single word, talk about heart wrenching. For some reason in March, I woke up with a whole new out look and could finally see the finish line. I was working out and spending plenty of time with my friends and sisters knowing that it would be over before I knew it. I went to Las Vegas with my mom and her sisters and had the time of my life. Eric was jealous but I promised him we would go sooner rather than later.

Before I knew it, April was here and it was time to get my stuff together and pack up to move back to Washington. I was so exited to go home but also super sad to leave my sister Lexus that I had gotten used to spending every day with. I moved into my new apartment found a job and starting working by the end of the month.

May flew by in the blink of and eye and June is half over too. This is the happiest I have been in a long time and I can finally start getting a little excited that Eric should be home in less than 30 days.

There are many emotions that I went through and experienced through this past year. There were times when I felt so close to Eric that I knew nothing could come between us. But there were also times when I felt scared, alone and abandon. I learned what arguments are worth arguing about and which ones are not.

When this whole deployment started, I was angry with everyone and everything for the fact that I was going to have to spend a year away from my husband. Looking back now knowing that it has been over 11 months apart I feel as if this was in God's plan for both Eric and I. I am so grateful that we were able to spend this time apart only to realize how important Eric is to me and how much I do love him with every part of me. I am still going through lots of different emotions about him coming back and us living together again but at the same time I really cant wait!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A year (almost!) in review! PART 1!

So I have been contemplating weather or not I should do a deployment review or not. I don't figure most people will make it to the end of this post but if you do, thank you and leave a comment! jk! Since I do read other blogs about deployments I found it very interesting that a lot of women have kept a kind of journal about it which I never thought to do. And I am now kicking myself for not doing it. This post if more for me and looking back on it later than for any other reason. So for that I am really sorry if its super boring, depressing and long. I have no idea what is going to flow out of my fingers but I have been thinking about doing this for a couple days now. So here goes:

My husband left for his first deployment on July 13th 2009. The 2 weeks leading up to it were probably some of the toughest weeks of my life. We spent a lot of time packing and re-packing lists of things he was going to need to make it through. It was heart breaking to watch as we would work together as a team to try and get everything together only to notice that his supplies for an entire year could fit in the trunk of a car with room to spare. We were very cautious around each other in the way that we would talk about things to make sure not to bring up anything that might perhaps make us cry.

We spent the nights up to the final day talking about the what- ifs of everything from what we plan to do with our lives when he got home to what happens if he were to die. Now I know what your thinking, we shouldn't have been talking about him possibly dying but we would later learn that it is a big reality than I ever thought possible. We also confided in each other about our deepest secrets but were also there to hold each other when we felt the need to break down. I cried a lot and I am really glad I had Eric there with me.

As much as we wanted our last weeks together to be wonderful and blissful, we also spent to much time over petty arguments that now do not have any relevance. In a way I think it was our own way of some how trying to make leaving each other easier, because lets face it if your mad at someone its much easier to say good bye. So as the day grew closer, it only got worse.

Friday July 10th 2009: The day had finally arrived and it was time to day good bye. We had to be on post by 0600 so I dont even think we went to bed that night because we would have had to leave our house around 0345 to get there on time. We headed to post and I am pretty sure I cried the entire way. My mom was nice enough to drive us there so that I wouldn't have to drive home alone and she wanted to see Eric off as well. Words can not described the mood that loomed over every soldier, their wives and their families. It was as if someone died and there were no words or anything that could have been done to make this any easier. After a lot of moving around base Eric decided it was time to say good bye before the official formation because he didn't want to cry in front of his fellow soldiers.

The last hug was the longest most painful hug and we just stood there and cried together for a good 10 minutes. My arms felt as if they were glued around him and they refused to let go even thought I told them it was time. My mom had to literally peel my body from Eric in order for him to go. I will never forget watching him walk away from me with his hat pulled down over his eyes and ever so often wiping the tears away from his eyes. My mom and I drove away and I cried and cried and felt as though someone ripped out my heart and stepped on it a billion times.

Not 10 minutes later I got a call from Eric asking us to turn around and come back because the Army had some how misplaced a plane and he wasn't sure if they were leaving that day or not. So we drove back and spent the majority of the day on post waiting around to see if he was going to leave or not. After spending most of the day awaiting around, we finally got the OK to go home for the night only to be back the next morning. This whole back and forth thing carried on all through Saturday and then to Sunday. Monday is the day he finally left and by that point I was more than ready to get this deployment started! This good-bye was much easier but still sad. We both had the strength and courage to stay with each other until the buses pulled away without crying to much. At that point I was not only proud of Eric but I was so proud to call myself and Army Wife!

The first 2 weeks of deployment were a big blur. I remember spending a lot of time alone, crying and really feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to crawl under a rock and do anything but face the world. I some how made it through that but there were many times during deployment that I had moments like these. I decided to go to California to spend some time around my family and friends.

This helped keep my mind off of being away from Eric and helped me to enjoy life again. Most of September I don't remember. I remember going line dancing with my girl friends and that was always a fun way to keep my mind off life. I seemed to be pretty lucky in the fact that I got to talk to Eric daily or at least every few days at most. Which made the adjustment period easier. I noticed that my patience for "civilian" people was at like a 0. I was sick of people complaining about being away from their loved one for only a few days. I was some how bitter at the rest of the world that they got to be with their spouse.

This attitude carried onto October and it still comes about now and then. October was a kind of depressing month. Our unit had 3 deaths in one day and thats when the reality of the war set in.I still couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and it was also my birthday month. Not just any birthday, but my 21st birthday. Eric seemed to be out on a lot of missions and I didn't hear from him much at all. I happened to be in Washington at the time of the memorial ceremonies for the 3 men that died. I decided it was only right to go and pay my respects. It was awful and I decided at that point I would never go to another one with out my husband again.

November seemed to come and go with out any real problems. Sure I had my good days as well as my bad days. By this point I had reached the 4-5 month mark and I was glad that time seemed to be on my side. When I stopped to think about things, life seemed to take forever but if I just went with it, it seemed to go much faster.


Saturday, June 12, 2010

I want to strangle someone!!!!!!!

This is going to be a little rant but I had to get it off my chest! If your in the military or have a spouse or family member in you probably know exactly what I am about to say. Can any one explain to me WHY they go back and forth and back and forth on everything they do! Its getting really annoying and I would really like a little bit more general idea when to expect him home but no that would be all to easy!!! GRRRR!

Ok, theres my rant I'm done and I am back to going with the flow :)

On another note, it is amazing outside so I must get ready for my day and enjoy some of this sunshine! Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!

Monday, June 7, 2010

I had to share :D

So it has been a little while since I have seen my husband on a web cam let alone a picture. Today he informed me that he uploaded a new one to facebook and I just had to share with the blogging world! So here is is, my amazing husband with some local Afghan children. He also said he had a video but it wouldn't for that! Cross your fingers it does and I promise to share! He makes me so proud to be married to a soldier! I cant wait to be in your arms again E!!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Who would have thought?!?!?

My husband has been gone for

327 DAYS
7807 HOURS
472250 MINUTES
28335239 SECONDS

Who would have thought I could make it this far?!? Not me and it also means not much longer now!!! I cant wait, its going to be AMAZING!!!

I cant wait to see this face again :) (dont mind the quality, its from skype!)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

He is really the best!!

So as I mentioned before, I came back from California last month. Well two days after I left my step mom called to tell me there was a package from Eric and she said she would send it to me and I finally got it yesterday!!

So first I saw this box inside a bigger box with other mail and I couldn't wait to open it!
The pink and black polka dots caught my eyes right away!!
This little box was inside with a note that said " I will always love you!"
I opened it and found this AMAZING necklace!!! i even squealed!!!
It is so beautiful and I just love it!
Here is a closer picture so you can see the pearl!
And here is a picture of me wearing my new necklace. Don't mind the fact that I have no make up on, I just got back from the gym! Also notice my smaller arms and shoulder definition! yay for the gym!!

This necklace is from Lisa Leonard Online and her website is

Last year I was reading the busy bee lauren blog found here:

Last year she had a give away from Lisa Leonard. I feel in love right away and casually mentioned it to Eric around Christmas time. I thought he probably forgot just like most men would so I was so thrilled when I opened the box and thats what it was!

I seriously have the most amazing husband EVER and can't believe almost 11 months has passed by with out him! I love you eric and thank you!!!