Thursday, October 29, 2009


I'm not exactly sure how I am feeling at this moment other than I had the most horrible night of sleep and awful awful dreams. The one thing about the Army that is so bitter sweet is the fact that I have to keep my mouth shut about certain things it drives me nuts!! I know its for the safety of Eric and the rest of his men but if you know me at all, you know I love to talk and I always feel much better when I get things off my chest rather than hold them in.

I think last night I had my first really big mental break down since this deployment started when I got a phone call from my amazing husband with some news that ripped my heart right out. I started crying and couldn't stop for a good little while. I thought I was going to hyperventilate and pass out which I'm pretty sure could have been the case. Right now I'm going through all these crazy emotions for so many different things.

First, I'm wondering what the hell is going to happen as far as the troops are concerned. Are they going to be sent more help in Afghanistan? Or are they going to have to continue to watch people die right in front of their eyes? I really hope that our amazing president (note the sarcasm!) can pull his crap together and figure this stuff out. I know he's to busy to worry about the troops but he has plenty of time to worry about trying to get the US to be the next place to hold the Olympics. Just for the record, I never voted for him and I'm so glad I didn't because he continues to make me hate him almost every single flipping day. Please watch this video so you get an idea of what I'm talking about.

I'm now more scared for Eric and a whole bunch of other boys than I ever had been since they left. Not to say that I didn't worry about them but I know they are a great group of boys and I really hope they all come home. I'm not really making any sense right now but I want to scream! I feel so helpless and that I my opinion and the safety of my husband doesn't matter to anyone who can make a difference. Only to my friends, family and my extended military family who knows what its like and what I'm going through. This is going to be a rough couple of days, weeks, or months, Im not sure at this point but I really hope that I can make it through for Eric and that nothing happens to him or anyone else. I am begging you please PLEASE PLEASE, keep Eric as well as all the other troops in your thoughts and prayers. They really need it at this point.

And also one more thing, if you have a husband, wife, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, tell them how much they mean to you and don't spend time worrying or arguing about stuff that in the end doesn't really matter. Because it could all be taken from you without a warning of any kind. I love you more than life Eric and I'm so proud of you. Stay strong, and continue to put your heart in everything you do and Ill be waiting for you when you get home. Your my hero :)