Wednesday, February 17, 2010

missing him...

So people have told me that I need to update my blog so here I am updating. I am not sure how this is going to go or what I have to say. Lately I have been feeling like just a person who takes up space in the world. Most days I have no emotions nor do I have any life experiences. I miss my husband and at this point I am hoping he and I both make it out alive. On the bright side we only have 20 weeks to go but at the same time it seems so far away.

I have been missing everything about him and I and us being together. I am learning a ton about not taking anything for granted when he does come back home. I had a list of things I miss most about him so I am going to share a few simply for my own well being.

I miss watching him play video games,

Going on hikes and complaining the entire time hoping he would say we could turn around (but he never did),

Waking up in the morning to get him ready for work (make coffee, pack lunch, start car),

Him laying with me for 5 more minutes until he had to leave for work,

Just talking about anything and everything for hours on end or until one of us feel asleep first,

His humor which is very dry and always finds its way into every situation and conversation which in the end makes everything better,

Listening to him sing in the shower, car, kitchen all the time in both English and Spanish

Just the way he loves me for me no matter what.

I could go on and on about everything I miss. I miss my best friend and I want so badly for him to be back and for us to be happy together. I feel bad that I have been avoiding my friends and family and its not their fault, I just seem to be missing Eric in every situation and it makes like suck that much more. So sorry to said friends and family.

I don't know if you have watched the news lately, I know I sure haven't, but if you do, you know whats going on in Afghanistan. I would love to say that Eric isn't a part of it but he is which in turn affects me. I used to hear from him daily or every couple days at least but as of now, I have heard from him for 59 seconds in the past 10 days. Its killing me and I keep remembering that no news is good news but sometimes its easier said than done. Well thanks for letting me vent about this and cross your fingers I hear from him soon or that I cant sleep for the next 5 months


jessica said...

I can't even imagine how hard things must be for you. When my brother in law was in Iraq it was tough, but it wasn't my HUSBAND! I pray the next 20 weeks go by quickly and safely. Please get yourself out there and find something productive to do. Go volunteer somewhere, that is the best way to get outside of your head and put some light back into your life....

Sending some love your way...

Tammi said...

You can do it!! We'll do it together. :)