PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO AND EDUCATE YOURSELF!!!!!!!

I'm not exactly sure how I am feeling at this moment other than I had the most horrible night of sleep and awful awful dreams. The one thing about the Army that is so bitter sweet is the fact that I have to keep my mouth shut about certain things it drives me nuts!! I know its for the safety of Eric and the rest of his men but if you know me at all, you know I love to talk and I always feel much better when I get things off my chest rather than hold them in.

I think last night I had my first really big mental break down since this deployment started when I got a phone call from my amazing husband with some news that ripped my heart right out. I started crying and couldn't stop for a good little while. I thought I was going to hyperventilate and pass out which I'm pretty sure could have been the case. Right now I'm going through all these crazy emotions for so many different things.

First, I'm wondering what the hell is going to happen as far as the troops are concerned. Are they going to be sent more help in Afghanistan? Or are they going to have to continue to watch people die right in front of their eyes? I really hope that our amazing president (note the sarcasm!) can pull his crap together and figure this stuff out. I know he's to busy to worry about the troops but he has plenty of time to worry about trying to get the US to be the next place to hold the Olympics. Just for the record, I never voted for him and I'm so glad I didn't because he continues to make me hate him almost every single flipping day. Please watch this video so you get an idea of what I'm talking about.

I'm now more scared for Eric and a whole bunch of other boys than I ever had been since they left. Not to say that I didn't worry about them but I know they are a great group of boys and I really hope they all come home. I'm not really making any sense right now but I want to scream! I feel so helpless and that I my opinion and the safety of my husband doesn't matter to anyone who can make a difference. Only to my friends, family and my extended military family who knows what its like and what I'm going through. This is going to be a rough couple of days, weeks, or months, Im not sure at this point but I really hope that I can make it through for Eric and that nothing happens to him or anyone else. I am begging you please PLEASE PLEASE, keep Eric as well as all the other troops in your thoughts and prayers. They really need it at this point.

And also one more thing, if you have a husband, wife, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, tell them how much they mean to you and don't spend time worrying or arguing about stuff that in the end doesn't really matter. Because it could all be taken from you without a warning of any kind. I love you more than life Eric and I'm so proud of you. Stay strong, and continue to put your heart in everything you do and Ill be waiting for you when you get home. Your my hero :)

Happy 21st Birthday to ME!!

I really had some mixed feelings about turning 21, on one hand I was so excited that I actually made it to my 21st birthday! Growing up that seemed like a million years away but it finally happened. I was also looking forward to being able to get a drink when I go out to eat with my parents or Eric. What can I say, I like beer :) But on the other hand I was sad Eric wasn't going to be here to enjoy it with me. And I also thought what the heck else do I have to look forward to after this birthday! My cousin then reminded me of how great life really is and how many more fun times and memories I will have to look forward to. So this is pretty much the events in my day! Its long and I will document it all for like purposes, so sorry if you don't drink or you don't like drinking. It was the best birthday ever, the only thing missing was Eric!!

After an extremely long drive from Idaho to California Sunday, I turned 21 in the car while passing through Woodland California. When I finally got to my house around 12:30, Kaitlyn was waiting with flowers balloons and a card. She then took me to Win Co to buy something just because I could! Please don't judge me for my awesome outfit, lack of make up or even a shower for that matter! It was 1 am..

Here I am walking to the cash register with my six pack of New Castle, I chose this simply because its what we had for Eric's birthday and he loves it!

WOO HOO!!! Outside Win Co with my drinks. It was a weird feeling and I thought I was going to get in trouble at any given moment, but I didnt :)

Here's me with my drinks!! I drank one for you Eric!!

After the store Kaitlyn and I went back to my house where I enjoyed one beer and opened my cards and mail sent from Eric as well as various family members! Thanks to you all!

Eric's sister Rhonda made me this deployment flag and I love it! Its really hard to find one and she totally surprised me with this. Its amazing and I cant wait to hang it in my house some where!

After I slept from 2:30 to 7:30am I was wide awake and beyond excited for the upcoming night ahead. So I went to the salon and enjoyed a pedicure and got my nails filled. The lady did and amazing job and it was so relaxing!! After that I picked Lexus up from school and headed to the mall to try and find something to wear. It didn't work out in my favor so I wore something I already owned! I met up with my Mom, Rich, Grandparents and Amanda for some drinks at El Toritos!

Rich, Me and my Mom.

Me with a huge strawberry margarita, I also had a peach raspberry one that was delish!

DRINK COUNT SO FAR:2

After drinks we went my grandparents house for cake and presents!

Me and my amazing mom, isn't she so cute!

My yummy chocolate black out cake

After cake and presents, I headed to BJ's Brew House with Amanda, Kaila and Stacey. We enjoyed avocado egg rolls, buffalo chicken pizza and a world famous Pazookie! It was so good!! I also had a raspberry lemon drop and a Surfer on Acid shooter

Me with my Raspberry Lemon Drop

DRINK COUNT AFTER DINNER: 4

After dinner we headed to the Grad for some dancing and drinking for me!

The stamp on my head got me a free drink :) A birthday shot to be exact!

My new friend Andreas also bought me a German Chocolate Cake shot which was amazing! if you have never had one, do, you wont regret it!

I also had a Pineapple Kamikaze and something else that I don't remember!

Amanda, me and Kaitlyn

Stacy and I taking a break from dancing!

These are the drinks that did me in, the shot glass was put into the other yellow stuff and drank quickly. The red one is a KGB and the other is a Long Island Ice Tea.

DRINK COUNT AFTER THE GRAD: 12!

My new friend Andreas that bought me my first drink.

Me dancing to "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake

It was a long night after we got home and I was beyond hungover on Tuesday. But overall I think it was the best 21st birthday I could have asked for except Eric wasn't there. I again realized why it is I rarely drink and I remembered that after being sick. Heres to being 21 and happy birthday to me!!

Head Band Giveaway!!

One of the days I will win something from a blog give away. Suzi is having a give away and shes amazing! Check her out and sign up!!

http://hammyscrafts.blogspot.com/

Another update...

As you may or may not have notice I have been MIA for a while. Why you ask? To be honest I have no idea!! Life has just been a little crazy and a little busy. I took a road trip to Washington a few weeks ago. I had a lot of fun visiting my cousin. I remember why I love Washington so much and Im beyond ready to go back.

While I was there I attended the memorial for 3 fallen soldiers from Eric's unit. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever done and I honestly hope I never have to go to another one alone without my boy again. Going on base was a weird experience for sure. Fort Lewis is really big and holds a ton of soldiers. Before the boys left, it was like a mad house any time I had to go there. This time, not so much. It was a ghost town to say the least. Very very depressing if I do say so myself. It made me miss my friends, all the memories and of course my husband. I long for the day when we can all be together again.

After Washington I came over to Idaho! Its a great place but sucks when you have no car to get anywhere. Long story as to why I don't have a car but I really don't want to get into that. I must have good karma and I dont like talking about people. Im still in Idaho waiting for my parents to drive up so we can go back to California on Sunday. I've been spending a lot of time at my aunts house and with Sabrina. I found these super cute cow boy boots yesterday and I really want them but who knows if I will get them.

In other news, I turn 21 on Monday and I'm not sure how I really feel about this. Sure I am very excited that I can finally buy beer, wine or a drink when I go out to dinner. But at the same time, what birthdays after this do I have to look forward to?! 25 when my car insurance goes down lol! I'm also a little bummed that Eric wont be here with me. Oh well, Ill get over it!

On the Eric front, Afghanistan seems to be doing ok. I get really annoyed by the fact that some of the boys there find it alright to eat other peoples food and snacks. I like sending Eric enough so he can share but I don't like it when they take without asking. He is supposed to get r&r in December and I am really looking forward to it. I miss him like crazy of course but I am more proud of him every day he completes his missions and gets his job done!

Thats all thats been going on here and I haven't had anything happen that really needs to be blogged about. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading!!!!

This is an old pic of Eric and I that I had to share :)

Loss...

Whenever someone looses someone close to them, I find it really hard to find words to help make them feel better. Sometimes it seems as if there is nothing that can be said to make the situation better. This past week my Best Friend Liz Shaver lost her brother-in-law Naki Maile. He was 32 years old and died suddenly. He leaves behind his wonderful wife Abby and 6 beautiful girls, ages 1-9. As you can imagine Abby as well as the girls will have a strong battle ahead in many different ways. An account has been set up for them during this tough time. It would be really great if you can donate anything at all to help this amazing family out. Please keep all of them in your prayers as they deal with this difficult time. Here are links to their family blog and website where you can donate. Thank you :)

http://www.nakisgirls.com/

http://sixmailechix.blogspot.com/

Procrastination

I have like a billion and one blogs to post but you know me, I PROCRASTINATE in life on a daily basis. You would think since I'm a stay at home wife at the moment, I could find time to post in my very very busy schedule (note the sarcasm...) but I just cant yet! Add it to the list that's a million miles long of things to do before my trip. I'm going to try my darnedest to post this weekend. Miss you all and sorry if I haven't commented your posts!